Complete Nonsense
by theSilence
Summary: Duo is reading a book. That's about it.


Complete Nonsense

* * *

  
_Quiet contemplation. I don't know what's going on. Am I going insane? All I see is black and white. Although, sometimes, in the very depths of the night, some gray creeps in. And on very rare occasions, I see a tinge of orange and a slight hint of forest green."_  
  
"Duo, what the hell are you reading?" Trowa asked staring at the braided boy with a book in his hands.  
"I don't know. Wufei gave it to me. It's filled with all sorts of nonsense." Duo grinned before continuing with the book.  
  
_So, that may have been a little awkward. Let me introduce my kitten. His name is Alfredo Sauce. Sometimes, people get confused when I ask them to hand me my Alfredo Sauce. I think they're silly."_  
  
"Alfredo Sauce? What kind of name is Alfredo Sauce? Whatever happened to the good 'ol names like Fluffy or Mr. Bigglesworth?"  
"Trowa, I don't think Mr. Bigglesworth was all too common at any point in time before Austin Powers." Duo smiled. "I told you this is all nonsense. It's kinda funny though."  
"Right. Go on then."  
  
_I remember one time, I went on a road trip with my family. I had to sit in the car for about eight hours only stopping for food and to take a leak. Yes. That is right. Pee pee. Say it with me now. Pee pee."_  
  
"Pee pee."  
Duo and Trowa looked up to see Quatre standing in the doorway with a cup of tea in his hands. "What? You said to say it with you right?" Quatre asked, stirring his tea.  
"It's a book. It's really weird. I don't think it has any point to it at all, but… care to join us?" Duo offered.  
"Sure, why not?" The blonde smiled and plopped down on the couch next to Trowa.  
  
_It was a windy day at the rest stop. You could hear the wind through walls. It echoed between each stall. It was like voices calling out. The voices! Oh my GOSH, the VOICES!!…They were telling me something…telling me…not to forget…not to forget to wash my hands when I was done…Yes. They were to voices of my parents, hurrying me along so we can reach our final destination."_  
  
"Well…wasn't that a bit dramatic?" Quatre said with a sip of his tea.  
"You can say that again." Trowa nodded.  
  
_Which brings me to my theory on 'The Wizard of Oz'. Everyone knows that the Wicked Witch melted when hit with water right? Well she did. And that makes me wonder how the lady ever took a shower if she melts with water. Which explains why she's green in the first place. If you noticed, she's the only green person there and also the only one who melts when she gets hit with water. And I'm assuming that people would tease her about how dirty she was which made her a wicked witch in the first place. And that's why, I figure, that she wanted the Ruby Slippers. Maybe if she had the Ruby Slippers, she'd be able to take a shower and not be green anymore and perhaps, she'd no longer be wicked once her shower was done, cause you know how relaxing they can be."_  
  
"You know, that's not completely farfetched."  
The three boys all turned their heads to see Heero standing behind them, leaning on the back of the couch, reading over Duo's head.  
"Hey Heero." They all greeted.  
"What are you reading?"  
"Some book Wufei gave me." The braided boy shrugged.  
"It's so weird." Quatre said, placing his teacup on the coffee table.  
"Yeah. And completely random." Trowa added.  
"Join us?" Duo asked.  
Heero shrugged. "Sure."  
  
_I wrote a poem once. It went a little something like this:  
So said the cheese  
'I beg you, PLEASE!  
Do not sneeze  
On the fleas  
For they spread disease  
With ease.'  
Thank you."_  
  
"What the hell?" Heero shook his head.  
"You took the words right out of my mouth." Duo said, looking up at the other brunette.  
  
_And now for a joke.  
Baby Bear looked into his little bowl and it was empty. He asked loudly, "Who's been eating my porridge?"  
Papa Bear looked into his big bowl and it was empty. He asked loudly, "Who's been eating my porridge?"  
Mama Bear yelled from the kitchen, "Will you two please be quiet? I haven't made the porridge yet!"_  
  
All four boys looked at each other with stupefied looks on their faces before breaking out into laughter.  
"That's got to be one of the stupidest jokes I've ever heard." Trowa shook his head.  
"But it made you laugh, so it fulfilled its purpose." Quatre smiled.  
"Hey, wait guys. There's another one." Duo continued.  
  
_And now, another joke.  
Why did the gum cross the road?  
Cause it was stuck to the chicken's butt."_  
  
Again, the four boys broke out into laughter.  
"I stand…er sit…corrected. _That_ is the stupidest joke I've ever heard." Trowa said, between chuckles.  
"Can't argue with that one." Quatre giggled.  
"Aww…guys. This is the last page." Duo pouted.  
"Really? That's it?" Quatre bent over Trowa to peek at the book.  
"There's one last bit."  
  
_It is now time to bid you all adieu. But let me leave you with this quote.  
"One day you will come up to me and ask me,  
'What's more important: me or your life?' I will say,  
'My life' and you will walk away not knowing that  
**YOU** are my life."_  
  
Duo closed the book and all four boys leaned back.  
"That was a good book." Heero said.  
"Yeah." Duo nodded.  
"But you're kinda left wondering 'Now what?'" Quatre sighed.  
The boys just sat in their place, thinking to themselves.  
Wufei walked in and stared at his comrades with unidentifiable expressions on their faces. "What's wrong with you?"  
"Wufei, where'd you get this book?" Trowa asked.  
"Hmm? What book?" Duo held up the book in question. "Oh _that_ book. I bought it. I thought it would be mind stimulating but it's just a bunch of nonsense. So I gave it to Maxwell knowing _he'd_ appreciate it."  
"Where did you buy it?" Quatre asked, sitting up and staring at the Chinese boy intently.  
"The bookstore, of course. Apparently there's a whole series of them."  
"A whole _series_?" Heero cocked an eyebrow.  
"Yes, a whole _series_. What's that matter with all of you?"  
The four boys looked at one another.  
Duo grinned. "Anyone thinking what I'm thinking?"  
Wufei looked at his friends, confusion written all over his face. "What? What's going on? What're you-"  
"Race you to the car!" Duo cheered.  
The four boys leapt off the couch and ran out the door, leaving Wufei utterly perplexed. The Chinese boy walked over to the book left on the coffee table with the empty teacup. He picked it up and opened it to a random page.  
  
_I wonder what it'd be like to fly in a giant shoe."_  
  
Wufei shook his head and snapped the book shut. "Complete nonsense…" 

* * *

Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam Wing boys, but I DO own a DVD with all of them in it. Yes.  
  
There is no real plot to this. Just random stuff. I've got a lot of things running through my head and I needed to get them down somewhere. So, I just started typing and I figured that I could make a strange little story out of it. And that's what I did and this is where it's at. Maybe I'll make it a series. Ha. Wouldn't that be strange?  
  
Now, about the book. Obviously, there's no real book out there like this. I don't think. But I think there should. And I should write it! Haha. Anwho... No, I'm not colorblind but some may contest my sanity level. I don't have a cat named Alfredo Sauce but I would like one. The road trip bit is true. Used to go all the time. Eight hours is not fun. EVERYONE should wash their hands after they use the restroom. The Wizard of Oz bit... it could be true. I know I'd probably be a pain in the arse if I didn't get to shower. The poem, completely random. Wrote it on the spot. Could you tell? The jokes. I adore those two jokes. I got the porridge one off of a tear a day calendar and I kept that page since December 26, 2002. The gum one came from a friend. I thought it was funny since it's so stupid. And the quote. I don't know who said it or where it came from or anything. But I do recall a friend telling it to me and I liked it. And the flying in a giant shoe. I do wonder about that. Kinda like Winkin, Blinkin and Nod. Yeah.  
  
Please don't go out to your local bookstore to try and find this book. It's fictional. Or at least until I get it published. Heh. Yeah right. Hope you had a good chuckle with this one. Later. 


End file.
